He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
