everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
