theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
