What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just had sex bonerless
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
