she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Enjoy the penises
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
