i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
