I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
