If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
