Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
