Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
