I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
where am i from again
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize