I can tuck mytits in my pants
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
