I just threw up on my dentist
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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