If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
