shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize