So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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