Midget sex pt 2 tonight
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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