Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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