You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
