y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
