shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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