bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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