I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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