so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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