Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
