You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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