you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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