I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
