I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
