I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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