i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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