Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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