Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
