lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize