i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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