Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
