I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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