i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
