He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Your cock deserves a montage
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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