Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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