btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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