he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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