Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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