some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
