It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
