My hair reeks of homosexuality.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
