I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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