Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize