How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
