Don't you send me to vm
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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