Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
