I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
