He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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