shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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