youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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