two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
