making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
