she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
