I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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